Righting my BIO

This is the bio of Lee Stringer he has done his in an interesting way righting it as if someone else is telling you who he is http://www.leestringer.com/bio.html

"Lee has a broad visual effects background and"

"Prior to his career in the world of "

This seems like a good way to get round sounding studenty but seems a bit to pretentious especially if an employer asked who wrote and it was you.